Keep Trying to Find, part 9

[tamcranver]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8



“The thing is, you say you want to major in business and everyone thinks you’re like, soulless and evil. I say, if you want a better, more ethical corporate business world, changing it from the inside’s as good a way as any, right?”

Frank nodded. Jamia was so fucking smart. He and Mikey and Gerard had been fucking around with their band for years without ever really knowing how to get it off the ground. Jamia, well, she knew how to make her dreams happen.

“Fucker, you’re not even listening!” She smacked him on the shoulder. “Get off my tee-shirts, you’re getting them wrinkled.”

Frank obediently hopped off, but he objected to her first complaint. “I was totally listening!” he said. “And I was gonna say I think you’ll be the best businesswoman ever, but then you’d just say I don’t know anything about business, and I kind of don’t, so I thought I’d better keep my mouth shut.”

Jamia rolled her eyes. “Frank….” She sounded like she didn’t know whether to follow that up with You’re a dumbass or That’s actually kind of sweet, so Frank helped her out by kissing her. Hopefully, that tipped him over into the ‘sweet’ category.

She giggled into his mouth, which tickled, before kissing back with a vengeance. When she finally pulled away, her mouth was a little puffy and she bit her lower lip, as if to get it back down to its normal size. “Hey,” she said, more seriously, “you really think we’ll be okay out here? I mean, after Mikey’s dream and all….”

Frank sighed. He’d actually been trying not to think of it. He knew himself well enough to know that he couldn’t spend all day every day hanging out all day every day with in a hotel room or the RV without driving himself and everyone else up the wall, but he had to admit he got a little nervous sometimes when he was outside. Mikey had promised to come help out if he picked up any mental signals that Frank was in trouble, and Bob had asked the security guys to keep an eye out for the FBI dudes. Frank was pretty sure it would be impossible for the pricks to whip out their guns with all the people around, too. Still, when Mikey had a bad dream about something happening to you, it really, really wasn’t a good sign. “Probably,” he said to Jamia, trying to sound surer than he felt. “A couple of British guys in dark suits have to stand out in this crowd, right? We’ll see them coming. If security doesn’t get them first.”

“I guess,” said Jamia, looking unconvinced. “Hey, Matt!”

Frank turned around to see Matt Cortez walking their way, waving cheerily. Matt was a good guy, thought Frank—pretty much no matter what drama was going on, he could be relied on to listen to you and distract you with a beer or some crappy reality TV show he’d been following on the internet.

“What’s up?” said Matt. “Hey, you think I could grab one of these tee-shirts? I’m running out of clean clothes.”

Jamia narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know,” she said. “I have to ask Sarah. But I was gonna ask you, do you know if security’s found those creepy guys yet?”

Matt raised his eyebrows curiously. “What creepy guys?”

What creepy guys? What the hell—they’d just had a conversation about this yesterday. “Umm, the weird British guys in dark suits asking about Gerard and Mikey?” Frank prompted.

“Sorry,” said Matt with a shrug. “Not ringing a bell. Are they with the MSI crew?”

Jamia frowned. “No, they’re not with the MSI crew. You showed them where the concession stand was yesterday, remember? And then we talked about them, and it turned out they were, like, stalkers or something?”

“Huh.” Matt blinked, looking at them like he was trying to figure out if they were pulling his leg. “Seriously? I must have been drunker than I thought.”

The hair was standing up on the back of Frank’s neck, now. People didn’t just forget stuff like that, not unless someone erased their memories. Normal, human FBI guys couldn’t do that, but Amaltheans could. Maybe they’d been wrong about who was after them all along. “Huh,” he said to Matt. “That’s weird. Maybe we were talking to someone else.”

“It happens, dude,” said Matt with a smile. “There are a lot of fucking people on this tour.” Someone shouted his name from one of the buses, and he said, “Hey, speaking of people, I gotta see a man about a horse. Catch you later!”

“See you,” Jamia called before turning to Frank with a frown. “What are you talking about?” she said. “We were talking to Matt yesterday. I might not be a genius, but I’m pretty sure I can remember a conversation I had less than twenty-four hours ago.”

“I know,” said Frank. “I know it was Matt. But I think those dudes erased his memories.”

Jamia squinted, looking confused. “Like with one of those flashing pens on Men in Black?”

“No, like with his mind. Amaltheans can do that sometimes.”

Her eyes grew huge. “You’re saying….” Her eyes darted from side to side, like she thought someone was listening. Hell, maybe someone was.

“Yeah,” said Frank. “We’d better go warn Bob and Ray and everyone.”

“Good thinking. Or, uh….” Her eyes were still huge, but it looked less like surprise and more like fear. She was pointing over Frank’s shoulder, and he turned to look. “Isn’t that Sarah and Mikey’s friend, Alicia?”

“Yeah.”

She moved her finger. “And don’t those guys in the suits over there look an awful lot like the guys we’ve just been talking about?”

Frank looked, and his heart sank. Sure enough, two skinny, dark-haired guys in black suits were headed in Alicia’s direction, though one was turning his head to look at Frank.

Shit, shit, shit, they had to move. Fucking Mikey and his stupid psychic dreams. “Come on,” said Frank. “Let’s go.”

They ran towards Alicia, not even worried anymore about attracting the attention of the FBI/alien guys, who’d probably already noticed them. “Hey,” said Jamia, “Sorry to sound like a freak, but we’ve got to go, now.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Alicia irritably. Her frown melted as she noticed the guys in suits. “Crap,” she said. “The INS guys.”

Frank was thrown by that for a second. Clearly, she hadn’t had her memory of them wiped, but why the hell did she think they were INS? Had Mikey told her that? “Um, sure,” he said. “But we really have to go, like, right this second.”

Alicia raised a sardonic eyebrow at him, her cool expression barely changing at all. Jesus, no wonder Mikey liked her. “Why?” she asked. "I don’t even know where Mikey is now, and I’m not an illegal immigrant. What are they gonna do?”

Jamia darted a nervous look in the men’s direction. “Talk later,” she said. “Move now.” She grabbed Alicia’s arm, clearly intending to run.

Suddenly, the heavy boxes of merchandise they’d been sorting scooted across the pavement, leaving behind a trail of shirts and broken jewel cases as the bottoms of the boxes ripped open. One of them knocked into Frank, pushing him down; the others moved around Alicia, Jamia, and Frank, circling them like gunslingers in a movie.

“Not so fast,” said the taller of the two men.

Alicia’s face had completely lost any semblance of cool mockery. “What the fuck?!” she shouted.

“Run!” yelled Jamia, and Alicia didn’t seem inclined to argue, pushing her way through the boxes and running between two buses. Frank, who’d managed to pick himself off the ground, made sure Jamia was running, too, before heading in the same direction.

He wasn’t looking behind to see if the men were following, but he had the horrible suspicion that they were—after all, they’d seen the men’s telekinetic powers, they couldn’t just let them go, right? Where could the three of them run? They couldn’t make it to the RV fast enough—plus, Frank wasn’t sure if he had enough breath to yell directions to Alicia, who was leading their little pack at the moment. Maybe she knew where she was going, had some place they could hide out for a while. Frank could only hope.

“Hey,” said someone, sounding surprised. Frank, distracted, ran straight into them.

“I was just looking for you!” It was Gerard, looking frazzled and exhausted. Frank could totally relate. All this falling on the pavement was making his knees hurt like hell, and he was completely out of breath.

Jamia and Alicia stopped running for a second, turning to look. “Hey,” said Jamia, running back to Gerard and Frank and pulling them up off the ground. “Gerard, you need to hide us, now! Those FBI guys are after us, and they—do your thing, your alien thing!”

“Are you shitting me?” Gerard asked, looking alarmed.

Oh, crap, Frank thought, he could hear running footsteps. The fuckers were catching up. Why hadn’t Frank asked how Mikey’s dream had ended? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Alien thing?” said Alicia. “What the hell?”

“Ooh,” said a strange voice with a British accent, “an unexpected surprise—I’d hoped Miss Simmons here would lead me to an heir, but I wasn’t expecting this heir, so soon.”

Frank stood up straighter. He would fucking kill these fuckers before he let them hurt Jamia or Gerard.

“Oh, shit, shit, shit,” Gerard muttered. “Where’s Mikey when you need him? He does this mental shield thing so much better than I do….”

Frank was about to yell at him to forget the stupid mental shield thing and bust out the telekinesis—Gerard could be fairly badass when he wanted to be. But then, suddenly, Frank had a familiar tingling feeling throughout his whole body, and then—then, he wasn’t there anymore. None of them were. They were sitting in the middle of the RV, surrounded by Bob and Mikey and Ray, and—hey, when had Uncle Brian and Worm gotten here? And who the hell were the jokers in the ‘80s clothes? They looked kind of familiar, but Frank couldn’t place them.

Mikey blinked, looking more surprised than Frank had known he could even look. “Dude,” he said. “Gerard, I didn’t know you could teleport.”

“Me neither!” said Gerard. He looked just as surprised as Mikey.

Frank was struck by an uncontrollable urge to hug Gerard, and he indulged it. Holy shit, he thought. How many people could say that their brothers spontaneously developed new super powers just to save them? Not a whole hell of a lot.

“Hmm,” said Uncle Brian, not sounding nearly as excited. “I was wondering if you were gonna be able to do that—you’re so strong in telekinesis, I actually thought it was a little weird you couldn’t teleport.” He glanced around the room, frowning, and shook his head. “Awesome, one more thing I’m gonna have to erase from everyone’s memory, and you know how I hate interfering with Earth people like that. I feel like a creep. Did I mention that you guys suck at this whole undercover thing?” Looking at Mikey, he said “Hey, Mikey, can you shield us until we’re ready to get these guys? It’ll be good practice.” Obviously, it wasn’t a suggestion.

“All right,” said Mikey with a sigh. “Sure, Uncle Brian.” He closed his eyes, scrunching up his forehead in concentration. It was weird, Frank thought. After years of watching Mikey and Gerard and everyone throw up these mental shields, he felt like he should have been able to see or feel something when they did it. But nope—nothing, except the kind of relaxed feeling you got when you felt safe. That was more a Pavlov’s dog thing than anything else, though.

Finally, Mikey opened his eyes and said, “Okay, we should be good for while.” Turning his attention to Alicia, he said, “Hey, are you okay?”

Alicia snorted. “Uh, no! No, I’m not fucking okay! The INS guys were chasing us, and then they moved some boxes without even touching them, and—and what the fuck was that, just now? Did your brother just teleport us?”

Mikey winced. “Um…when I said Gerard and me were, uh, undocumented aliens, I wasn’t…exactly lying.”

Heh. So that’s why Alicia thought the bad guys were INS.

“Oh, no,” said Alicia, staring at Mikey like he’d just grown another head. “No, you’re not.”

“…Kind of.” Mikey looked profoundly uncomfortable.

Fuck. Frank was not about to deal with more freaking romantic drama over his family’s planetary origin, not when they were being chased by…who the hell knew who. “Okay,” he said. “Gerard and Mikey are aliens. Now you know. More to the point, they’re good aliens and now we all have bad aliens after us, so let’s, you know, get some perspective on the situation.” He turned to Jamia, who was looking pale and a little faint. “Hey, are you okay?”

She laughed, sounding a little shaky. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m good.”

“Hey,” said Lindsey quietly, and what? When had Lindsey gotten here? Were she and Gerard back together? “Do we have a plan? I mean, I don’t want to sound like the bitch who threatens the safety of the planet just so she can be a rock star…but I think people are actually gonna notice if I stay here indefinitely. I have a show tonight.”

Bob and Ray exchanged glances, and Bob said, “Yeah. Us, too.”

Uncle Brian looked particularly harried, and Frank resolved to sit and do the fucking lunch ritual with him as soon as all this was over. It was boring as hell, and it meant that lunch took an hour and a half without ever making you actually full, but it always seemed to make Uncle Brian happy and relaxed. “Clearly,” he said, “we have to get this problem resolved as soon as possible.”

“I’ve got the traps,” said Worm, patting his bag. At Jamia’s curious look, he said, “We make them with psychic force—a little like Mikey’s mental shield, except shields are supposed to keep people out. These are meant to keep people in.”

“Okay,” said Jamia, nodding slowly. “I’m Jamia, by the way.”

“Worm,” said Worm with a smile. “Nice to meet you. Any friend of Frank’s is a friend of mine.”

“Brian. Likewise,” said Uncle Brian tensely. “After we catch them, we have to find out whether they’ve contacted their commanding officers or not. If they have…fuck, if they have, we’ll cross that bridge when they come to it. If they haven’t, we can erase their memories of finding us here.”

“Okay,” said Ray, nodding. “But how do we get them into the traps?”

“What do you need for any trap?” asked one of the random goofily-dressed people who were, for some reason, hanging around. “Bait.”

Bob, Ray, and Uncle Brian all frowned at the same time. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Frank was tempted to giggle. “We’re not using any of the kids,” said Bob. His tone didn’t invite argument.

“Of course not,” said Goofy. “Yo, hear me out, okay.” He turned to Uncle Brian. "You can erase memories, right?” At Brian’s nod, he said, “Okay. So, I have a pretty decent idea where you all have your little alien compound. Why don’t you erase that part, the part where I remember that mountain, and leave the rest, so I can be the bait or whatever? Oh, and make me remember that you made me forget, so the bad guys are all, ‘oh, he must have stumbled onto their secret!’ But don’t make me remember that I’m bait, because they’re psychic, right?”

One of the other ‘80s people, a really pretty woman with brown hair and freckles, scowled at Goofy. “Gabe,” she said, “that’s pretty much the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, hold up,” said Uncle Brian, scratching his chin. “So, you go out there, knowing that we’re all in this camper, but not where the Republic is. They grab you to find us. But how would we activate the trap, if you don’t even remember you’re the bait? I could follow you, I guess, I’m not sure how good these guys are at breaking shields, and I don’t want to take any chances.”

Worm raised a hand. “I have an idea. I could rig up a switch, like a panic button, on these traps. You don’t know they’re traps, but you know to push the button if you’re in trouble. I could program the traps to let you out, but not them.”

Uncle Brian frowned into space, like he was working out all the possible ways it could go wrong. Finally, he said. “I’m not sure I like it, but it...might actually work.”

Gabe crowed in triumph, while the woman pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“Are you sure you’d be okay with me erasing your memories? I mean, I could put them back later, but messing with people’s minds like that isn’t something I like to do as a general rule.”

“It’s like in Superman,” Mikey said randomly.

“Dude,” said Gabe, “I suggested it, right?”

The shortest of the goofy ‘80s people set his chin determinedly and said, “Well, if you’re gonna do it to Gabe, you might as well do it to me, too, so I can back him up.”

“Fuck you, Nate,” said one of the taller guys. “If Gabe goes, we’re all going.”

“Fair enough,” said Uncle Brian, nodding. “Can you remember to draw them into a secluded space? I’d just as soon not wipe the memories of half the people on this tour.”

“Understandable,” Gabe said. “I’m pretty sure my crew can handle that.” He draped his arms around a couple of the shorter guys and beamed. “Fuck, we’re the best, man.”

Uncle Brian looked vaguely skeptical, but he said, “Uh-huh. Okay, I think we actually have a plan, here.”

Jamia reached out for Frank’s hand and squeezed. “Let’s just hope it works,” she murmured. Frank nodded in fervent agreement.

**

Bob grimaced. “This had better fucking work,” he said. He knew he’d said that, oh, a million times, and everyone was probably getting ready to kill him, but he couldn’t help it. It had been bad enough when their lives and the boys’ had been the only ones at risk—now, from what Bob said, it sounded like the whole planet was at risk.

Ray shot him a reassuring but vaguely exasperated look. “It’ll work,” he said. “Come on. What could go wrong?”

Bob could only stare at him. “Are you kidding me? Are you trying to jinx us?”

“What does ‘jinx’ mean?” Both Bob and Ray turned to look at Worm, who shrugged. “What? I’m pretty good at English, but these idioms are hard.”

“It means, like, curse,” said Mikey. “Like, you say that nothing bad is going to happen, and because you said it, something bad happens.”

“Oh,” said Worm. “Well, I don’t think you have to worry about a jinx in this case. Gabe and the Cobras just activated the traps. I believe we’ve caught our Imperial friends.”

“What!” Bob straightened up, exhilarated. “Seriously? Let’s go get them.”

“Don’t sweat it,” said Brian. He looked at Gerard. “Give me a hand, Gee?”

Gerard nodded, and the two of them held hands and closed their eyes while Lindsey, who was holding Gerard’s other hand, looked on in fascination. Bob wondered just what had changed her mind—the last time he’d seen Lindsey, she hadn’t looked at all interested in even talking about Gerard, much less helping him save the planet from alien invaders.

Brian looked like he was about to pass a kidney stone for a long minute before the Cobras and two dark-suited men, standing perfectly still with their arms to their sides, appeared in the RV.

One of them made a rude noise at the sight of Brian. “Well, there’s a familiar face,” he said. “Schechter, isn’t it?”

“It is,” said Brian, peering searchingly at the man. “What name do you go by these days?”

“Jarvis Cocker,” said the man. “You might recognize my friend here from the Imperial court. I’m told he was quite the favorite, once upon a time.”

“Fuck off,” said the other man, looking totally dispirited. Bob would have felt bad for him, except for the part where the guy was threatening his life and his partner and his kids and his planet. Yeah, on second thought, fuck him.

“Wait,” said Alex, who, along with the other Cobras, was sitting on the floor and rubbing his head, looking confused. “We were supposed to catch these guys, right?”

“Right,” said Brian. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but good job.”

“Thanks,” said Alex. “But, uh, did you all erase the part where we figured out what to do with them?”

Good point. “Do you guys have some kind of prison up there on the mountain?” asked Bob.

“Not really,” said Brian in consternation. “We haven’t had enough problems that really call for one, you know?” He looked at Worm. “The original plan was to mind-wipe them, right?” Worm nodded.

“Oh, you don’t want to do that,” said Cocker quickly. “We contacted our superior an hour ago, told her we were just about to bring her a couple of imperial grandsons. She’s very clever—if we don’t follow up that last message, or show up mind-wiped, she’ll know something’s up. Can’t say what she’ll do then—I mean, one hopes she won’t invade the planet, but you never know. Commanders these days don’t take attacks on members of the Imperial Arm lightly, if you know what I mean.”

“That means don’t kill us, either,” said the other one with a sneer.

Bob shot a quick look at Mikey, who worked pretty well as a lie-detector in a pinch. He was frowning, but he didn’t say anything, so Bob guessed the guy must have been more or less telling the truth.

“Hey,” said Ray softly, leaning in close to Bob, “you don’t think…are we seriously talking alien invasion here?” He didn’t sound even remotely excited about it—just horrified and a little disbelieving.

“I don’t think it’ll come to that,” Bob whispered back. And he didn’t. They’d work something out here and now. Somehow.

Brian fixed the FBI alien guys with a sharp look. “Well, I don’t suppose you’ve got any suggestions, then?” he said, smiling tensely. “We’re not letting you go with knowledge of our settlement, and we’re sure as fuck not letting you take my nephews back so their great-uncle can execute them after some trumped-up show trial.”

The guy who wasn’t Cocker darted a look at Gerard and Mikey, who were staring back with a kind of frightened interest. When the man’s gaze swept around to Bob, Bob glared at him. Seriously, fuck him. As if their little family hadn’t had to go through enough shit.

“Couldn’t you just say you couldn’t find us?” Gerard ventured. “Honest to God, we’re totally not interested in taking over the empire or anything.”

Cocker glanced at his companion. “D’you think she’d buy it?”

“You must be joking,” said the man. He looked at Brian and said, “You’ve been in the Imperial Arm. You don’t get very far in it if you can’t tell when someone’s lying, can you?”

“Not as a general rule, no.” Brian shot an inquisitive glance at Worm, who nodded. Probably a telepathy thing; Bob wondered what they were saying. “We’re gonna have to come up with something, though,” Brian continued. “I’m gonna be honest with you guys—we’ve got pretty much nothing by way of weapons, or at least, nothing that’s gonna make a dent against a fleet of the Imperial Arm. We’ve got no intention of launching an attack on you. But believe you me, if it comes down to it, we will find a fucking way to hit you, because I will be damned if this planet gets subjugated to the Empire on my watch.”

“Well, Schechter, we’re at a bit of an impasse, then,” said Cocker, “because the only way I can think of to get Earth out of the crosshairs is to convince the man in charge that it’s not harboring traitors to the throne, and the only way to do that is wipe out your merry little band of rebels.” He shrugged, a weird, tight shrug with his arms still stuck to his sides as if glued there. “Like I said. Stalemate.”

Bob kind of wanted to punch Cocker in the face, or just grab him and his goofy little partner there and shake them, maybe yell, “You better come up with something better than that, motherfuckers!” But what good would that do? Bob had never thought he’d be nostalgic for the days when he and Ray had been running from the guys with guns in Ray’s old RV, but hell, then they’d had a pretty clear goal—get the kids to Wolf Mountain, and the aliens would take it from there.

Now...the whole fucking world was at stake, and Bob didn’t have a clue what to do. Maybe there wasn’t even anything he could do.

“Hey,” said Mikey, and Bob turned to look. Mikey and Gerard were on opposite sides of the camper, Gerard on the sofa bed next to Lindsey and Mikey leaning on the wall in the kitchen, but they’d still managed to meet each other’s eyes over the crowd crammed in the RV. Their expressions were serious in a way that Bob hadn’t seen in six years.

They seemed to decide something after a moment, and Gerard said hesitantly, “Um. I don’t know if this’ll even help, but…would the Emperor settle for Mikey and me? I mean, we’re the heirs, right? We’re like his rivals, so you think if we went with you, he’d leave Earth and everyone alone?”

Oh, fuck no, maybe Bob couldn’t do much, but he could sure as fuck stop this disaster-in-the-making.

“I’m not super thrilled about the idea either, Bob,” said Mikey morosely, giving Bob a glum look. “But we’re just two guys. I think the, like, six billion people on planet Earth kind of outweigh us, you know?”

Cocker laughed, and everyone turned to look at him, surprised. He snorted, grinning wryly at Mikey. “You’re not terribly clever, are you? Once he has you two, he’s already got the rest of your little Rebel Alliance, and if he can’t take them without attracting attention, which I’m pretty sure he can’t, he’ll take the planet. A for effort, though.”

“You sure it’d be that easy for him to get the rest of the Republic if he had us?” asked Mikey, his chin set stubbornly. “We’ve got some pretty good mental shields, man.”

“D’you think an Emperor can manage to take over and control hundreds of planets if he can’t tell who’s lying to him and who’s not?” asked Cocker, raising an eyebrow sardonically. “You’d have to have the universe’s strongest mental shields even to try.”

Mikey frowned but seemed to accept that, and Gerard sighed defeatedly. Thank God.

The other man, who’d been silently staring into space for the past few moments, suddenly turned his head to look at Cocker. “Do you think Commander Monáe would cover for us?”

“What?” asked Cocker, dumbfounded. The two of them seemed to have a quick telepathic conversation—not quick enough for Bob’s tastes, but it was only a moment later that Cocker said dubiously, “Well, I suppose it’s worth a try.”

“What? What’s worth a try?” asked Ray eagerly.

“Our superior officer,” said the man Bob was starting to think of as “Eyeliner,” because he was wearing a lot of it. “She’s pretty ambitious, and completely loyal to the Empire as far as I can tell, but….” He gave another of those weird, confined shrugs. “We’ve known each other for a long time now. Perhaps we can persuade her it’s not worth the effort.”

Seemed like a hell of a gamble to Bob, seeing as how he didn’t even know this officer they reported to, and he didn’t trust Cocker and Eyeliner as far as he could throw them.

Brian seemed similarly skeptical. “Right,” he said. “And you’d do this…why?”

“To save our own skins?” Cocker suggested.

“Well, yes, that,” said Eyeliner. “And...to be perfectly honest, I’m quite sick of this job.”

Bob didn’t think he’d ever seen Schechter look so disconcerted. “You what now?”

“Read my mind, you’ll know it’s the truth.” He turned to Cocker and said, “You’ve been saying it for years, Jarvis—your mental shields aren’t nearly as good as you think they are. And you’re right. Why the fuck would we want to go back to Amalthea for another term of service in the Imperial Arm? We’ve got no jobs, no families, no fucking lives there.”

Cocker looked at his companion with amazement. “Fuck, Brian,” he said. “This is probably the most I’ve ever liked you. Ever.” He looked at Brian—er, Schechter. Damn, that was confusing. “He’s right, you know,” said Cocker. “I mean, home is—well, it’s where the heart is, isn’t it? But truth is, I rather like Earth. I like the food, I like the clothes, I like the music. Plus, I haven’t given a toss for the Emperor since he sent me on this fucking career-killer of a mission just because I made a little joke about him. Honestly, the man’s such a paranoid cock, it’s amazing he’s got any advisers left alive. Sorry, Brian, I know you’ve got a thing for him.”

“I haven’t anymore,” said the other Brian. “To be honest, I’d just as soon forget about him. I wasn’t joking about the pop song business—I honestly think I’d be quite good at this whole Earth music scene.”

What the hell was it with these aliens and their musical aspirations? Not that these jokers had anything in common with Gerard and Mikey besides their species and their desire to make it in the music business, but still, it was a little odd, thought Bob.

“You’re shitting me,” said Schecter, who still looked like someone had whacked him upside the head with a two-by-four.

“Not really,” said Other Brian. “God, it feels good to get this sort of thing out, you know? It’s been fifteen fucking years of trying to be loyal to an Emperor who’d just as soon kill me for failing at an impossible fucking mission. I’m quite tired of it.”

The Cobras, who’d been more or less quiet, began to mutter amongst themselves before Gabe stood up, looking incredulously at Other Brian. “What the fuck, dude?” he said. “Our whole planet’s getting invaded by an army of psychic dickweeds, and you think we wanna hear you get all emo at us?”

“The man has a point,” said Cocker. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to let us out of your little force bubbles so we could contact Monáe, would you?”

Brian exchanged a glance with Worm before saying sternly, “If either of you tries anything….”

“For fuck’s sake,” said Other Brian, “we know when we’re outnumbered. Do you want us to give this a go or don’t you?’

“All right,” said Worm, sounding calm enough. He closed his eyes for a moment, humming under his breath. Bob didn’t feel anything change, but something clearly had, because Cocker and Other Brian started to move their arms around, like they were testing them out.

“Jesus,” said Cocker. “I’d forgotten what a pain in the ass those things are.” He swung his arms around in front of him, clasping his hands and stretching. “We brought a few ourselves, for hunting you, but they broke. Ah, the irony. The hunters becoming the hunted, et cetera, et cetera.”

“Uh-huh,” Brian said flatly.

Cocker dropped his hands to his sides. “Not impatient or anything, are you?” He dug around in his pocket, finally pulling out a little rectangular thing that looked a little like an iPod. Wrapping his fingers around it, he closed his eyes, his mouth tightening with concentration.

Brian, still looking pretty unimpressed, said, “I hope you don’t think you’ll be conducting this discussion with her in your head. Project it. Out loud, so our human friends can hear it.”

Cocker opened his eyes a crack at that. “Christ, Schechter,” he said. “I don’t remember you being this obnoxious back in the day.” But when he closed his eyes again, the little rectangle started shooting light like a slide projector against the wall of the Bounder.

A young black woman in a gray, vaguely shimmery tunic appeared on the wall. God, was this the commanding officer? She didn’t look much older than a kid herself—Bob realized that the Amaltheans aged more slowly than humans, but shit, this woman looked like a college kid. Her voice when she said, “Cocker. Molko. I sense you have something to report to me,” though, was cool and confident and (Bob thought) a little amused—the voice of someone used to being in charge.

“Mmm. Yeah, a bit.” said Cocker.

Molko sighed. “We’ve got a bit of a situation, Commander. As you can see, we’ve found some of the rebels, but, well. They seem have captured us, rather than the other way around.”

“And yet they’re allowing you to communicate with me,” said Monáe. “Very understanding captors.”

“Well. Er.” Molko shifted from foot to foot, looking less like an alien invader-slash-FBI agent-slash-aspiring musician than a kid trying to come up with a convincing excuse for why he didn’t have his homework. “We’re all hoping we can come to some sort of understanding. You see, we’re pretty sure the people here aren’t in any position to threaten the Emperor, and, well. Over the years, we’ve come to feel quite at home here on Earth, and we’d like to avoid—any unpleasantness.”

“And by ‘unpleasantness,’ you mean the armed invasion of the planet? The type of thing the Imperial Arm, by definition, exists to do—defending and expanding the Empire?”

Molko winced, and so did Bob, as Ray gripped his hand painfully tightly. Bob couldn’t blame him. His heart felt frozen in his chest. No surprise, really, given that the fate of the world was kind of hanging in the balance, here, and things didn’t look good.

Monáe tapped at her teeth with one slender finger. “Hmm,” she said thoughtfully.

Good God, lady, Bob thought. Come on. Give us a fucking break. Our planet never did anything to you.

Her eyes met Bob’s for a moment, and he thought maybe she’d heard him. But then her eyes swept back around to Molko and Cocker. “An understanding, you said.”

“That’s what we’re going for, yeah,” said Cocker, any semblance of sarcasm or casualness gone.

“Well,” she said, “let me explain things to you, as I understand them. I have just received incontrovertible proof that, despite reports of a rebel ship headed for this galaxy just after the uprising, the traitors are actually in Artarthra, hiding on one of the many uninhabited planets.”

Wait, was she saying what Bob thought she was saying?

“You two,” she continued, raising an eyebrow at Cocker and Molko, “have of course resigned your commissions in the Arm out of embarrassment for your terrible failure, and I have sentenced you to exile here. The inhabitants of this planet, while interesting from an anthropological perspective, present no opportunity for colonization in my opinion, and the Empire’s resources would be better spent elsewhere. I have no doubt that the Emperor will act on my recommendations.” She turned and gave Schechter a small smile. “Long live the Council,” she said, her tone a lot graver than her expression. She reached up to push a button or something, and the image vanished.

The whole room, alien and human, stood in stunned silence for a long moment. Finally, Nate said what Bob figured everyone was thinking: “What?”

“Well,” said Cocker. “I…certainly wasn’t expecting that. Not complaining, mind, but Jesus, I honestly thought we’d have to offer her our heads on a platter or something.”

“What’s the Council?” asked Bob. It didn’t mean much to him, but it certainly seemed to have surprised Brian and Worm.

Brian brought his hand up to cover his mouth, scratching at his face before pressing his hands together, tangling and untangling his fingers anxiously. “The Council was…well, back before the Emperor took over, a long, long time ago, we elected the Council, and they were in charge of everything. Nowadays…it’s like a password for resistance fighters.”

Molko gave Brian a sharp, disbelieving look. “Monáe’s in the Resistance?” he asked. “Monáe?” Bob didn’t know why he sounded so incredulous—after all, the woman had pretty much just said she was going to lie to the Emperor on their behalf.

“I guess so,” said Brian, sounding a little disbelieving himself.

“God,” Cocker said. “I knew the woman’s shields were good, but fuck, they must be incredible if she’s managed to keep that under her hat for so long.” He shook his head. “You think you know someone….”

“Glad to see the next generation’s carrying on in our absence,” said Worm cheerfully.

“So, wait, does that mean we’re good? Earth, I mean?” Ray’s voice was shaky, but his enthusiasm was back, and Bob felt a rush of gratitude so fierce it made him dizzy. They were good. With all the horrible things that could have happened—with all the things they could have lost—they were all still here, still alive, and as far as Bob could tell, they weren’t in any imminent danger of alien attack. And Ray was standing beside him, sounding excited instead of scared, and life was so fucking good.

If ever there was a time that called for making out with one’s boyfriend, this was that time. Bob leaned in, digging his fingers into Ray’s hair, and kissed him hard and hot and with as much gratitude as he could actually put into a kiss.

Ray pulled away after what felt like hours but was probably only a minute or so. He leaned his forehead on Bob’s and said breathlessly, “So, everything’s good then.”

“Everything’s great,” said Bob, his heart swelling painfully in his chest. “Everything’s fucking excellent.”

“What the hell?” came a voice from the corner. Bob and Ray pulled apart to look towards the kitchen, where Alicia was standing, her face red and her eyes huge. “So. Anyone want to explain all this to me? Anyone at all?!”

Mikey blinked, looking at Brian.

Brian sighed. “At this point, I guess secrecy’s pretty much a lost cause.” He sat down next to Gerard and Lindsey on the bed, and said, “Let’s start at the beginning.”

Bob had heard pretty much all of it before, but he didn’t have the energy or the heart for impatience right now. He was content to sit on the disgusting floor of the RV among Gerard and Mikey’s stinky socks, leaning against his sweaty partner in the midst of dark-suited aliens and blindingly-dressed bounty hunters and confused teenagers, just listening to Brian talk.

Fuck. Life was good.

**

“Man. I can’t believe you’re going.”

Gerard looked up from sorting the “absolutely essential to my well-being” comics from the “awesome but can stay here” ones to see Lindsey, standing over him with her arms crossed and a funny expression on her face.

“Yeah,” he said. “Like, I’ve been thinking about it and having dreams and stuff about it for weeks, but now it’s like I’m actually going. Weird.” Ray was the one who’d originally suggested this art program, and Gerard had agreed without ever really thinking that he was actually going to go. Sure, Mikey and Frank had decided to stick around with Earth people for at least the next six months or so, and sure, Uncle Brian had agreed to let them, now that they had Cocker and Molko helping them rather than hunting them, but any one of them could have changed his mind before the program started. Now, though, it was really happening.

Lindsey had been really excited about the program at first—in fact, she’d been the one who’d convinced Gerard to go in the first place—but she didn’t seem too excited now. She said, “That’s awesome” like she was faking being chipper for someone she didn’t like too much.

He straightened up, pushing his piles of comics aside. “Do you…not want me to go?” he asked uncertainly. The art program did seem super awesome, but spending the next six weeks working on songs with Frank and Mikey and Darren would be pretty sweet, too, and maybe it was a douchebag move to go and leave your girlfriend for a month and a half when you’d only been dating for a little over a month to begin with. Gerard had never been anyone’s boyfriend before, not like this, so he wasn’t quite sure how these things worked.

Lindsey’s face went from closed off to worried and guilty. “No, no,” she said. “Really. It’s great. You’re gonna have a great time, and when you come back, we can talk drawing techniques or whatever.” That didn’t sound like everything she wanted to say, though, so he waited until she made a face and said, “It’s just, you know, you’ve got this whole big world to explore now, and—fuck. Don’t even listen to me, I’m just being stupid. I think it’s just that I’m really going to miss you.”

“Okay,” said Gerard. “Me too. I mean, I’m not going to miss me, obviously. I’ll be with me. But I’ll miss you.” Great, he thought. Real articulate. “You know,” he added, hoping to come a little closer to what he was trying to say, “it’s not like we’re…I mean, I’ve never tried carrying on a long distance relationship, but I think I’ll be okay at it. Ray and Bob got me this cell phone, and, like, I can get pretty absent-minded, I know, but I wouldn’t forget to call you. Or you could call me. I think I can probably remember to keep my phone charged.”

Lindsey’s face relaxed into a smile, a real one. “Well, I’m pretty good at the long-distance thing,” she said. “Plus, you can teleport and shit.”

“Not over long distances,” said Gerard, but the idea of just popping up somewhere to meet Lindsey wherever she was playing was super appealing.

“Yeah, you say that now,” Lindsey said with a grin. “But you, my friend, are full of surprises.” Her expression softened, and she said, “Seriously. I’m proud of you, and I’m planning on being totally supportive here. So just remind me of that when I’m calling you up for phone sex and you have a project due or something.”

That startled a laugh out of him. Heh. Phone sex. He’d never even considered it before. But then, his life had gotten a lot bigger this summer, much bigger than he’d ever imagined back in the day when he’d thought the most exciting thing that could possibly happen to him was getting to see a movie again. Things were still weird, and a little scary, but it felt right.

The door to the RV swung open, and Mikey and Alicia trooped in. Mikey was talking animatedly about something—sounded like The Munsters, maybe—and Alicia was rolling her eyes. They both looked at Gerard and Lindsey as the door closed, and Alicia said, “Oh, hey. Still packing?”

“It’s the comics,” said Lindsey. “They present a conundrum.”

Alicia peered critically at the piles of comics, one of which had fallen over and carpeted the floor with issues of Batman. “Uh-huh,” she said. “I can see that. Hey, Mikey, are there drinks in the fridge?”

“Mm. Yeah,” said Mikey. “Coke, anyway.”

“Cool.” She squeezed Mikey’s hand before letting go of it, and then she carefully stepped around Gerard’s crap and into the kitchen.

Hey, Gerard thought in Mikey’s direction, I thought you guys were just friends.

Yeah, Mikey said. She’s not interested in getting into a serious relationship. Not so soon after Kyle, anyway. Mikey seemed pretty okay with that, considering his massive crush on her.

Okay, but then….

Alicia, having taken a couple of long swigs of Coke, said, “We were gonna go have lunch at this Mexican place Sarah found. You guys want to come?

“We already ate,” Lindsey answered. “Gerard has to leave in a couple of hours.”

“Right, right.” Alicia shot a look at Mikey and said, “Shit. Maybe we should go someplace closer. We’re gonna have to eat pretty fast if you want to get back fast enough to say goodbye before he leaves.”

Mikey and Gerard met each other’s eyes, and Gerard had to restrain himself from giggling. Mikey grinned. Goodbye? Like Mikey ever really went away. Even when they were physically apart, Mikey was pretty much always in the back of his mind, even more than Uncle Brian and Worm were. Still, Mikey said, “Maybe I better do it now. Just in case.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go outside and give Sarah a call. See you,” she said to Lindsey, before pecking Mikey’s cheek with a kiss and walking out the RV door.

“So….” Lindsey said.

Mikey actually flushed. “We’re just friends, okay?”

Lindsey threw her hands up in a placating gesture. “Okay.”

“Okay,” said Mikey firmly, nodding. He turned to Gerard and said, “Hey. You gonna be all right, bro?”

Gerard didn’t know why everyone seemed to think he was just gonna spend the whole six weeks hiding in his room and moping. Seriously, he wasn’t that angsty, and when he was, it was usually with good reason. “I’ll be fine,” he said.

Mikey smiled at him, amused. “Good deal,” he said. “Call us if you need anything.” And then he stepped forward to hug Gerard, burying his face in his shoulder and squeezing for all he was worth. For such a skinny guy, Mikey gave pretty intense hugs. “You’ll be awesome,” he mumbled into Gerard’s back. “And you have to call us if you come up with any more lyrics.”

“Will do,” Gerard mumbled back, suddenly feeling like maybe he was going to miss everyone more than he’d thought. Sure, Mikey’d always be there mentally, but they’d never been so far apart in the real world before. He was going to be away from everyone he knew, in a dorm full of strange people….

Stop worrying, Mikey ordered, pounding Gerard on the back before pulling away. “Call me when you get there,” he said.

“Okay,” said Gerard, wondering if he sounded as bereft as he felt.

Mikey smiled and rolled his eyes. “I told you, you’ll be great. I’ll see you around.” He waved at Lindsey and said, “See you.”

“See you,” said Lindsey, waving back. “Have fun at lunch.”

Mikey nodded, turned, and vanished through the door. Gerard could hear him and Alicia wandering off, chattering, and he felt something sharp and lonely poking at his heart.

“Hey.” Lindsey wrapped her arms around him from behind and said, “Cell phones, remember?” She pressed a kiss on the back of his neck. “Plus the whole psychic bond thing. And don’t worry. He’s got a lot of people to look out for him.”

“I know,” said Gerard with a sigh. It still hurt to say goodbye.

The rest of the afternoon was more of the same, although admittedly, none of the farewells were as hard as the one with Mikey. The rest of MSI showed up at one point to bounce on the sofa bed and critique Bob and Ray’s DVD collection. Matt dropped by to give him some magazines and to tell Ray to call him about one of the amps, which apparently they were going to have to replace. The Used came in and hung out for almost an hour, Dan making himself a sandwich while Jepha talked about The Exorcist with Lindsey and Bert and Quinn argued loudly over Gerard’s head about…something involving a party and some alcohol and a dare which apparently Quinn had chickened out of.

Saying bye to Frank was actually pretty easy, because it didn’t feel like a goodbye at all. Frank stuck his head in the door and said, “Yo, I’ve been going over these lyrics you wrote when you were all depressed and stuff, and fuck, man, this is good stuff! I like the bit about getting people to kill your enemies.”

“Um, thanks,” Gerard said.

“Hey, I’ve got this idea—when you get back, you wanna get an apartment with me and Mikey and Darren? Darren’s looking for a place now, since he’s all legally emancipated and shit, and I bet Ray and Bob don’t want us harshin’ their groove in the ol’ Bounder forever. Jarvis said he can totally help us with the paperwork. Come on, how sweet would that be?”

“Um, pretty sweet,” Gerard said, already trying to imagine how he would be home and aware often enough to keep Mikey from killing himself with a kitchen appliance. Boy, he hoped Darren didn’t mind living with a trio of slobs.

“That’s what I thought.” Frank bounded up to Gerard, hugging him tightly. “Have fun at art camp, man. Get all your creative juices flowing so you can come back and help us with these songs.” Before Gerard could even respond to that, Frank had bounded away again, yelling something about water balloons.

Lindsey laughed. “Think he’s got enough energy?”

“He’s always like that,” said Gerard with a shrug. He turned to smile at her. “This is a good place for him, I think. He’s happy here. It’s cool.” The Republic was probably a little too quiet and restrained for Frank, Gerard thought. Earth was the right place for him. It sort of remained to be seen if it was the right place for Gerard, but hey, maybe he’d have a better answer to that question in six weeks.

Lindsey nodded, her expression more serious, as if she knew what he was thinking. “Yeah,” she said. Laying a hand on his shoulder, she said, “I think you’ll be happy here, too. It’s gonna be good.”

“Hey,” said Ray cheerfully, bursting through the door with arms full of groceries. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything! Hey, Gee, you just about ready to go? Bob wants to get back here before 5:00—Matt needs the car back tonight.”

“Sounds like my cue to leave,” said Lindsey. “Ray, you mind if Gerard and I take a minute in your bedroom?”

Ray’s eyes grew wide and then narrowed. “Um. A minute? You’re not gonna….”

“Ray!” Gerard could feel himself reddening. “We’re just gonna say good-bye!” At least, he was pretty sure that was all they were going to do.

Not looking terribly appeased, Ray frowned and seemed to mull it over. “All right,” he said finally. “But just a minute. Seriously, Bob’s outside with the car.”

“Great,” Lindsey said, grabbing the sleeve of Gerard’s tee-shirt and dragging him back to the bedroom. She closed the door behind her and said, “Seriously, call me as soon as you get there. I want to hear how the dorms are in the summer—if there’s no air conditioning, lemme know, and I can send you my old dorm fan. It still works, don’t worry.”

Gerard nodded, feeling profoundly overwhelmed. “Thanks,” he said. “I’m not used to it being that hot. I mean, it gets hot on Wolf Mountain, but the higher altitudes—and I mean, apparently Amalthea’s real hot, but I don’t remember it, and—shit, Lindsey, I’m gonna suck at this. I’m totally shitty at talking to people, and is this completely douchey, like, I stay with Earth people but then I go and leave you three weeks later? And what if--”

He was going to ask what to do if it turned out that the people who ran this art program didn’t like his drawings as much as they’d thought they would, but he didn’t get a chance, because Lindsey was kissing him.

“Hey,” she said, pulling back with a no-nonsense expression. “One, you’re really not that bad with people, two, you’re not gonna suck, and three, it’s not douchey at all. I know I was a little pissy earlier, but seriously, Gerard, I’m glad you’re going for this, okay? I don’t know that much about life in the Republic, but I know enough to know it’s gonna be a lot different here, and I really think it’s good that you’re starting to put a life together here. ‘Cause I love you, but I am not interested in being your only Earth friend.”

That made sense. He’d never really thought he’d be able to do the kind of things that required living in the world instead of hiding away, but he could, now, and he’d be a moron not to go out and do them. “You’re right,” he said. “You’re totally right.”

“You bet your ass I’m right,” she said with a grin. She leaned in to kiss him again, a quick peck on the lips, and added, “I know when you’re done with the program you guys are going house-hunting and stuff. But when you’re all moved in, you should come hang with me in L.A. while we record the album. You ever been to L.A.?”

“No.”

“Boy, are you in for an adventure.”

A car horn honked from outside, and Ray stuck his head in. “Hey,” he said. “You ready?”

Gerard took a deep breath. He knew and loved a lot of people at this point who’d taken whatever they had available and made really great lives for themselves. Now it was his turn. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I’m ready.”